You Matter
by blueangel573
Summary: Ulrich catches Odd water loading before their yearly check up. How had Ulrich never noticed his friend was withering away into nothing? [Warnings: Eating Disorder]


Ulrich couldn't deny the fact he hated check up day. Hallways filled with chatting high schoolers, Sissi insistent on telling him how perfect she was physically, it all stressed him out to no end. Check ups happened to be the one day a year he would have much rather been a day student like Yumi.

"Hey Ulrich, have you seen Odd? I promised to pay him back for that CD he helped me pay for last week." Ulrich turned toward William, shrugging his shoulders in response. "I haven't seen him for around 10 minutes. I'll give him the money though." The German boy held his hand out, shocked as 4 rolls of quarters found their way into his hands.

"Don't know, that's how he said he wanted it. Figured he had an arcade to hit up." William finished, waving goodbye and heading down the hallway. Ulrich stared curiously at the coins resting in his hands. Ulrich knew that Odd had no need for quarters, the smaller never playing games that weren't on a handheld device. Pocketing them, Ulrich made his way slowly to the boy's bathrooms. If there was anywhere he might find Odd, he could only hope it would be there. Maybe he decided that he needed 50 dollars worth of coins for the gross vending machine outside, Ulrich wondered.

The German boy pushed the door open to the bathrooms and paused, eyes wide at what he saw. Odd stood in front of the mirror, his shirt pushed up to his chest revealing a wasted away body. Ulrich could clearly see the smaller boy's ribs, every bone in his back. Ulrich began to question if the Italian's organs could even be held in such a small amount of space. He watched as Odd ran his hand up and down his receding stomach, pinching at the small amount of what could only be skin.

" _Maybe if you weren't so scrawny."_

" _I'm not scrawny!"_

Ulrich bit his tongue as he remembered all the times he had picked at Odd for his weight, not truly knowing the extent it must have affected his friend. It was with a sickening feeling he saw Odd lift two full bottles of water out of his bag, chugging them quicker than the German boy has seen him eat his food. Water loading, did that mean someone already knew Odd was under weight? No, it just meant he knew how to appear as if he wasn't. Ulrich pulled the coins out of his pocket with shaky hands, taking one last look at this friend before turning away from the door. He couldn't watch his friend like that anymore, he needed to get away. He didn't even hear his name being called, the water bottles drop to the ground. All he could hear was the never ending taunt inside his head as he ran as fast as he could back to their shared room.

 _You didn't even notice._

"Ulrich, stop running from me!" He finally heard Odd shout, and for a second he did. He stopped running. Only to hear the distinct sound of knees dropping to the floor, heavy exhaling behind him. The German boy turned around to see his friend attempting to catch his breath, wet streaks falling down his face. Ulrich took slow steps forward, kneeling down in front of Odd. The brunette took a deep breath before wrapping his arms around his friend's tiny body. It felt no different than any other time they'd hugged before. He'd always been that skinny. He'd always been so skinny he could float away with the wind, and Ulrich never noticed before.

"I'm sorry." He heard Odd whisper, and Ulrich held him tighter.

"Why? How?" Ulrich said, pressing a soft kiss to Odd's temple. The younger trembled as attempted to hold back his tears. "You always seemed like you ate so much, I just thought it was your metabolism."

"My sisters," The Italian began. "They used to think it was funny to eat a bit more than necessary. They'd take all the food they could so I couldn't get very much, and I just got used to it one day. When I came here though, I knew not eating wouldn't fly very well. So, I started throwing it up." Ulrich closed his eyes tightly, body shaking in anger. How could someone's own family do such a thing to them? "It was too hard, I felt dirty." Odd cried, and Ulrich shushed him.

"Come on, let's go back to our room, okay?" Ulrich said, grasping Odd's hand in his own. The blonde nodded and squeezed the other's hand. They walked slowly back to their dorm, Ulrich taking quick glances at his friend every once in awhile. Had he not been so pale, tears streaking down his face, Ulrich could've almost thought there had been nothing wrong.

They walked into their room, Ulrich quickly shutting the door before taking a seat on Odd's bed. The younger followed after him, arms crossed over his stomach as he sat in the spot next to his friend. Ulrich sighed, resting a comforting hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I'm not going to lecture you." Ulrich began, and Odd's eyes shot up to look into Ulrich's. "I do want you to know, however, I'm not going to let you keep doing this to yourself."

"I care about you, Odd. I want you to be okay." Ulrich's voice caught in his throat, and Odd's mouth fell open as a stray tear fell down the German boy's cheek. "I need you to be okay." Odd wrapped his arms tightly around Ulrich, the smaller crying quietly into his best friend's shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize how much it would affect you. I didn't think it mattered." Odd said, burying his face into Ulrich's shoulder.

"You matter."


End file.
